Stopping Emotional Eating Insights -Oct 05

Most people know they eat for emotional reasons – that doesn’t help them stop it.

That’s because they’re trying to stop with willpower, when the behavior they’re trying to control doesn’t occur at a level controlled by willpower.  That’s why it doesn’t work.            

The first step in controlling emotional eating is to understand that there are physical reasons it is happening.  That means the stopping has to occur at the physical level, which is not accessed from your thinking process.  Society conveys the messages that emotional eating means we lack willpower, or are stupid, or lazy – that’s a crock.  No one eats because they are lazy.  No one eats because they are stupid. With the possible exception of a few master yogis in the depths of India and some elderly Buddhist monks, willpower cannot control your body chemistry, so that’s not going to help you.   What can help, is knowing some real truths about emotional eating, and some concrete tools for addressing the issues.          

I’ll start with one element that is common to all emotional eating:  chemical addiction. Addiction- it sounds like something that needs an AA meeting.  This is not the kind of addiction you’re used to, and you’ll need to think of it a different way.  This addiction is related to your body’s learned patterns regarding its chemical state.           

Emotion is a chemical state in the body.  Feeling any emotion floods the body with chemistry at the cellular level.  You’ve probably heard of some of those chemicals, such as adrenaline, endorphins, and cortisol.  At any given moment, your body is in a chemical state of your current emotions.            

Your body likes the familiar.  In fact, because of survival instinct, it resists the unfamiliar (which might be deadly, after all.)  It likes familiar chemical states, because that’s how your body experiences life.  In your cells, your body has a memory of your life experiences as a sequence of chemical states.           

Here’s one of many examples.  Imagine a child sitting with their family for dinner.   Sometimes during dinner the child might feel criticized, ignored, or attacked.  Siblings are great for providing that attacked feeling.  Now, the body has an association between the chemistry of eating and the chemistry of feeling negative emotion that follows that child through their entire life.           

Remember, this isn’t happening where you think.  It’s subliminal programming.  In order to return to familiar chemistry, the body will want to eat any time one of those negative emotions is recreated.  That means criticism, being ignored, or feeling attacked creates a real, physical drive to eat.  This is a reaction just like sweat.  You can’t stop your body sweating with willpower, either.  In fact, you probably berate yourself as you do the reactive eating, and feel miserable that you can’t stop what you are doing.  If you’re aware you do it, you may emotionally withdraw so much that you only realize you’ve done this eating after the fact, and then you really feel bad.           

What are other kinds of associations that might be happening at that low-level chemical cellular level?  It’s easy to notice them when you get the idea.

  • Being hungry in the morning and desiring a sugar fix to raise your blood sugar associated with the frustration of work, because you’re usually rushing to get ready for work with low blood sugar.  What does that tell you about donuts and work, or that late-afternoon chocolate bar?
  • Having popcorn at the movies as a kid creating the association of a carb and sugar fix with watching movies or television. 
  • Family celebrations involving huge amounts of food creating the association of overeating whenever you’re around people.  Have you noticed that being in a group of people really triggers eating more than usual?
  • If you had a mom like mine, who comforted every trial with cookies, then the association is created that feeling bad requires eating.    

Take a moment and think about this.  You have these associations.  There are times you reach for food – probably a specific kind of food – that have nothing to do with your thinking process.  This makes sense, but how can you stop it?  There are lots of self-mastery tools to remove associations, and I’ll describe one.           

The first step is to decide you’re willing to remove the association.  This is an important step, because your body considers this association a survival skill.  After all, food is a comfort when you’re being criticized or hurt.  Personally, I find the fat even more uncomfortable than the emotion, so I’ve chosen to remove the associations.  You have to decide for yourself.  Previous articles on how to comfort your body without food are on my website.           

Once you’ve decided to remove the associations, one technique uses visualization.   Sit quietly and let yourself breath slowly.  Breathing slowly is important because it helps keep your body calm during a change.  Your body doesn’t like change.          

First, imagine that you’re sitting inside a big ball of white light that’s gently spinning so the light is moving through you.  The white light helps the change happen because that’s your intention.           

Start with one link between eating and a situation or emotion that you know exists.  Imagine that you can see wiring or patterns inside your body that hold that association.  People get all kinds of images when they imagine.  It might look like two balloons connected by a string.  It might look like two blobs of goo connected by a stream of liquid.  If you’re not visual, it might feel like a sensation in two different parts of your body, or even all over your body.  There’s no wrong way to feel this, it’s just about noticing something happening.  It can be subtle, like feeling a little cold.           

When you notice something happening, think about the fact that it’s not serving you any more, and be willing to melt it away with the light.  Remember you’re inside the big ball of white light.  Imagine that as the light spins, it dissolves that association, melting it away.  As the light spins, it continues to dissolve that association, and the light dissolves the habit of your reaction to the association, and the light dissolves all the triggers created by that association.  Let the light keep spinning until you feel it is done.      

It’s okay if you have to do it more than once.  The association has been there for a long time, and will only release in layers.         

The first sign of success is when you notice that you’re thinking about the food you usually eat in a situation, but you’re not eating it!  I suggest you keep using the light, especially if you know you’re going into a situation that’s a trigger, such as a big family dinner.  You want to get every single remnant of that association.  Keep using the white light until you can be in the situation, and you’re consistently not eating.  If you know you’re going into a trigger situation, having the white light spinning will help reduce your emotional reaction, too.        

Here’s a summary of the instructions:

1. Put yourself in a spinning ball of light.

2. Decide that you are safe releasing the association, and that you’ll cope with the emotional situation.  Let the light help you to feel safe and to cope.

3. Imagine the association like wiring in your body and your being.

4. Picture the white spinning light dissolving the association.

5.  If you know you’ll be in a trigger situation, keep that spinning ball with you to soothe your body.

There are many tools of self-mastery, and methods for removing associations in bulk.  Some can be found in other articles.  Enjoy your power, break free of emotional eating.

 

Click to send Email

Self-Mastery
Relationship
Challenge

Going Beyond Success

EVENTS